Seventeen is my number

Once in heaven
One can dead end
Won in seven
On and stepping

One and seven is where I want to be singing you sweet theater on an island treading wonder
We'll get thrown out again and again but it's alright because one and seven's my number

Happy Birthday.

Sick Dream

I pass a cruise ship, like an ocean liner.

Rather I passed it. Right past?

You were beside me. We were in a non-definable aircraft which had no weight.

At that moment, surprisingly I recalled the evening at my house in Northcote.

You came over in a state and told me what had happened at the shop. Terror, real big terror. You were so worked up. I felt bad for you. I also loved being the one you shared all of this with. I was like the one you were going to talk to about it. I stood near that little window making a meal, putting so much into that, listening to you, gentle you, while the sun made its last call in the window, we're closing here, come see us again. I was between the calm and the wish in that place, I could have never moved and I would have been alright. You were already home and I didn't know how home I already was, too. We got home.

Fitting in

I got some talk from you about showing who I am and not hiding.

Who was the one hiding?

Who is this person I am?

How can you see me so clearly?

I want this late afternoons and early evenings to live eternally like the hill our little palace is perched upon. The never dying soil is where I want to be, dirt and nutrients, you turning me over again and again. You stir my heart so when you look through me and remind me of what feeling's like.

Fortune

I don't know what to with myself. I want to come over.

You say, okay. I know things are not right. But I still know, too, that what you are doing is real. You're ready to take me on your back, though you shouldn't, though you won't need to this time. You sort of already have. I drive up and down the pretty, suburban streets. How could you already live in a place like this? How could you already seem to understand my pain? It's as if you already knew. I didn't have to wait very long.

Soon I am beneath the exotic trees in an exotic country crossing a glass walkway into a modern house made for the kind of folks who put you on your bottom next to the municipal dumpster when it suits them and I come up to the door anyway and I know what's on the other side already. You are such a neat person and on this long late afternoon of melancholy and unarticulated longing I find my home at your place. You do not know how important this is to me, and nothing's perfect, but what is so lovely about you is that you give out your hand both when it is not really needed and when that hand is truly important. You don't discriminate.

Thirsting

I walk up the little set of stairs. I'm exhausted, and you are waiting there. You are the most loyal of them all. You are so simple and yet so kind in your approach.

Every detail is considered, and you want very little but me to be there. The car traffic sings and the sky is gray. You could break the boundaries of time this way. The wine in your glass spins as you speak and I slouch in the chair. This is our house, you know I've never really had my house with somebody, and you've put so much care into this place. Each day you greet me like that in the early evening was a flower of cress, silent kinship, good fortune in my reality. For the space of a couple months this is our place.

To well wish the enemy

You see the enemy, and you greet him with an open heart.

The path that we all must walk runs through you.

A levity

Take my hand and I'll walk you to a space where you're in want of nothing.

You don't tell me what but you do it to me, orchestrating something incredible for me, the most valuable play. I touch it and birth.

Tends

Did you see the present on the table?

Not in the living room. Dining room.

I walk with you up a hill towards the center of Parnell. I am curious. You must be tired but don't say anything. You start to tell me about it. I cannot believe it, I did not see that coming at all. My body fills up with excess energy, I must be shaking. I cannot help but laugh and smile. We walk lightly and are electric material, you the ray and I the cloud.

Knight

I had a conversation with a non-figure today. It moved slowly and emitted a perfect sound of a low-pitch which rang and rang as a bell would and I suddenly had very little to say to it.

It continued to communicate not through language but through sensory disruption. It reminded me of that special day that we had together, the only one of it's kind for me. I experienced terror on the real and so did you, and I saw you in ways I had never seen you before and watched as love walked around naked in the room going through laundry. That very long moment changed each of us, plunging us into places of fear and hilarity, looking for allies in a hostile bedroom, whatever sounded safe to us. Those couple of days were hard and impossible to articulate, and inspiring, and life-affirming.

Aid

I took you to that special place in Opoutere. We drove on unpaved road for twenty-five minutes, slipping into spaces of nothing and no one. That place holds value for me, it was one of the special places and times when we were over there and now I could show it to you. It a stretch of land forever empty and rich like a desert that will kill you. It was like a movie taking you there I suppose where the character returns to a place which was terribly important earlier on and now holds a different meaning but which memory will give up some space for the other?

The picture then jumped to another scene which featured a familiar apartment and folks and you were magic in the little boy's presence. You guide, you're lit up, and I am so proud of you. The boy looks down as you speak. You are honest, caring and helpful all at once, showering cholla.

Said in passing

I don't know if you understand how much that night meant to me. You left me lightweight and I remembered everything. All the important stuff I got again. I had just come in from work after the uphill climb from the bus stop my thoughts fiery red demanding and unforgiving. You were at home.
 
You looked into me and shook me right, I was a shook one. I saw that you had something, something for me, and that we must have something going on, I thought. I see all the details of that moment from the lighting to the walls and my expressions and yours and those bellowing feelings released an organ tossed from the deck.